He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
