shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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