Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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