Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
