I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize