alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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