I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
