I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
