There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
