you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
