The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
It's rum buckets o'clock
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
