naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
