You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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