I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
