Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Randomize
