Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
My pussy is not your playground.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize