I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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