Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
