I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Randomize
