If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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