when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
no. you can't hotbox the world.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
