Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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