There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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