This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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