you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
