Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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