we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
