he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
