Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
