There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
