I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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