i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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