I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
