My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
