even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
