Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
