Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
