i think my tv is drunk
Pants 0. Shit 1.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
