So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I got inside last night via doggy door
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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