You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
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Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
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I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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