great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Terrible idea I love it
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
