i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
