If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Randomize
