My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
