Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
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