Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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