hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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