she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
