Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
