too bad you live with your parents still
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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