lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
