Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
