that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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