Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Randomize
