that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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