ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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