I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
