I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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