There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
