My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
