BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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