wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
