I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
