Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
