You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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