So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
