Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
