I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Randomize
