My hand turned me down
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
