Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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