I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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