you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
